The Janitor

So one day, Caitlin and I were innocently walking down the halls after school.

And out of no where..

And let me assure you. There is NOTHING fun about walking down the halls.

(I'm not even sure he works at our school...)

Selling Alaska

In history class...

Lauren's Flirting Skills

I'm not saying they're abysmal, but...

Exhibit A:

Exhibit B:

Profound.

Ice Cream

So Caitlin and I decided to get ice-cream one day...and this is what happend...

 

 

AWKWARD...

 

I can never show my face in Cold-Stone again.

Let There Be Order!

Why hello there, avid fan of Dastardly Awkward. I know you've been having severe withdrawals without our constant stream of epic blog posts, but don't worry! We are back. WITH A PLAN.

As of now, Sunday, July 1st, 2012, (several commas later...) we have an organized schedule for posting awesomeness. From now on, this is how it's all going to go down:

MONDAYS will be Lauren's day to shower you in beautiful MS Paint magic and hilarity.

WEDNESDAYS will be my day to try to draw pretty pictures and such and make you laugh.

We will keep constant with our updates, and we shall NOT miss any days! If this happens, and the reason is not seen to be worthy, then the doer of the crime will be submitted to terrible consequences... which have yet to be decided. But they will be horrible, and possibly a little uncomfortable for the victim, and maybe even a bit awkward. 

Also being introduced is a new segment! Sometimes Sundays! And today happens to be the very first Sometimes Sundays post. Because it's Sunday. Obviously. Anyway -- Sometimes Sundays is basically where we'll randomly decide to post on a Sunday. It won't be every Sunday (it's not Always Sundays), but it might be several Sundays in a row, or no Sundays for awhile, or just every other Sunday. You never know! But you can look forward to spontaneous Sunday posts from now on.

As you can see, the blog has also been redesigned to look a little nicer. We hope to attract more people with our good taste in colors and template, accompanied with the tales of our awkward adventures.

So, avid fan, I hope this new-found organization will appease you and put an end to the constant worry and longing eating at your very soul, which I know has been happening ever since the end of our updates, right? No, sh, you don't have to answer that, I already know. We love you, too, avid fan. We love you, too.

We wish awkward awesomeness upon your soul, and we hope you enjoy the new Dastardly Awkward!

-- Caitlin

The Story of Mosty the Snowman: Frosty's Evil Twin (A true...ish story)

One wonderfully winter day, only two days before Christmas, Lauren and Caitlin were strolling in the vast, ivory wonderland of snow. It was especially beautiful this day because the sun had not yet melted the ice and everything had a special shimmer to it that only the joy of Christmas could create. 

 

Caitlin, taking advantage of the tightly packed ice, crafted a sphere out of the snow and aimed it towards Lauren. Lauren quickly dodged it and rebounded with another ball of snow.They laughed exuberantly and fell back, making snow angels. What a wonderful day...

Then Lauren had an idea.

Oh, and what an amazing, wonderful, dastardly, idea it was. "Let's make a snowman!" She chirped. "Yeeeessssss," Caitlin hissed in excited agreement, "A snowman..." 


They jumped up and immeditaly began to work. They pushed huge mounds of snow into balls and stacked them onto each other.

Caitlin rounded the spheres into perfect pearls of snow. Lauren found two perfect sticks to be its arms and Caitlin searched for pebbles to garnish its face. It was perfect. The best snowman ever made. Pure, unadulturated, perfection. They beamed in their creation. 


"WAIT!" Caitlin gasped, "It needs something..." 


"A HAT!" Lauren excitedly screached, "like Frosty! Maybe it'll even come to life!" She chuckled at the idea. Luckily, they never left the house without a tophat. Caitlin carefully placed the magnificant hat ontop of his head. 

"Wow..." they sighed in unison. 


"LET'S NAME IT MOSTY!" Lauren screamed.

"Haha...um...why Mosty?"  Caitlin inquired.

"Because! It's like frosty...but better..."

"It sounds like frosty mold."

"Shh. His name's Mosty."

But then something happened.

The snowman began to move...first his left arm...then his right. Caitlin and Lauren froze in fear. 

"Oh..my...gosh, did it just...move...?" Caitlin asked in a shakey voice. 


"I think I'm going to pee." Lauren factually stated. 


Caitlin was too frightend to even laugh. 


It blinked. Mosty was alive. Simultaneously, they began to take a step back. 


"What have we done..." Lauren whispered. 


But then Mosty spoke. "Who are you who brought me to life?" He asked in a deep, low voice. He sounded similarly to Gandolf.  


"I'm Lauren!" Lauren sang, "And you're Mosty! Mosty the snowman!" 


Caitlin knew something was amiss with this snowman by the wicked, murderous look in his pitch black coal eyes. "Lauren..." Caitlin softly whispered, "I think we should...go..." 


"SILENCE!" Mosty boomed. His face turning more sinister, "What world do I reside in...? Who is your master?!?"

Lauren whimpered,  "Well...it's Earth...we don't...have a master..."

"Why don't you just take the tophat off and we can forget this ever happened?" said Caitlin.

But it was too late. Mosty had already hopped off. Tophat and all. Lauren and Caitlin ran after him.

The first thing Mosty encountered was a small, white rabbit. He stopped and turned his head to the side, as if examining the foreign creature. The bunny wriggled it's nose.

But then, Mosty did the unthinkable. He kept going, rolling over the poor rodent. The rabbit was quickly absorbed into the tightly packed snow and soon disappeared.

Caitlin and Lauren looked on in horror. What would happen when he got to the city? They would have to stop him. Mosty came across more and more things, a bush, a sock, even an inconspicuous bystander, gaining mass as he rolled over them. But soon, Mosty came across something much more terrible. A play ground, full of pre-adolescents excitedly at play. One small blonde child soon spotted the animated snowman. She shrieked in excitement. 


"OH. MY. GAWD. IT'S. FROOOOSSSTTYYYY!!!!!" 

All the other kids screamed and ran towards him. "Frosty! Frosty!" They chanted. They all started to dance around him. 

Caitlin made a move to run toward them, but Lauren caught her by the arm. "There's nothing we can do now..." she whispered, "All we can do is watch." 


Mosty was confused as to why the human children were playing around him. His confusion grew, and soon turned into frustration, and then anger. A frightened scream came from the chaos, then it erupted into a cacophony of screams. One by one, the children disappeared into Mosty, being absorbed into his snowman anatomy. Lauren and Caitlin stared wide-eyed at the scene. 

"Frosty...?" One small child whimpered but then he, too, was taken in by the evil snowman. 


"It makes sense", Caitlin bluntly stated, "The one snowman we make turns out to be a crazed murderous one." 


"Hmph", Lauren retorted, "Should have seen it coming." 


All of a sudden, Mosty froze. Then, he turned around. His soulless eyes were looking right at them. They stopped breathing. 

"Caitlin..." Lauren cried, "I just want you to know...This is screwed up." 


"Lauren..." Caitlin whispered, "We need to lay off the drugs." 


Mosty charged. He had a brutal look in his eye and he wanted blood. Caitlin and Lauren screamed in terror, but then Caitlin had an idea. She reached into Lauren's back pocket. Just what she expected. A rock. She had only one shot. Pulling her arm back, she aimed at the glorious tophat atop his ivory head.

Caitlin threw it.

The rock knocked the tophat off of Mosty's head. 

All of a sudden, Mosty let out a screeching bellow, and then froze. 


"Is he dead...?" Lauren questioned, hesitantly. 


There was movement inside the snowman. They held their breath...and then Mosty exploded. Children flew everywhere. A bunny found it's way out of the snow and the bystander crawled out of the chaos like a wounded animal.

Caitlin and Lauren gave a sigh of relief. They saved the day.

Afterwards, they went to go eat Arby's and they never made another snowman again...

The End

Merry Christmas to all of the people who support us and read our blog. We love you guys and hope you have the BEST. CHRISTMAS. EVER. Remember kids, don't do drugs or Mosty the snowman will eat you while you're sleeping. :)

Tell us in the comments what you want for Christmas!

Wonderful Wistful Wednesday Adventures pt. 2! (Best Buy and other places)

This is part 2 of our adventurous adventures! We are actually taking part in one right now. As we speak. AT THIS VERY MOMENT. *This is our first post we have actually created together. In the same room. Simultaneously* Enjoy!!! (:

...Okay. So we're too lazy to write anything. Appreciate these pictures. 

Poorly drawn Best Buy.

Touch screen monitors/cheap, shameless advertising.

 More shameless advertising. With ice cream.

Swagger (n) - Swag-ur: ...Yeah, we don't even know what it means. It just sounds cool. Get a gangster to explain it to you. 
~~~~~~~~~
And finally, an explanation to the previous title. Duenturss. Here is extremely blurry proof of Lauren's spazziness.

Dialogue of the Day/Quotes

"My God...you spelled it right..." -Caitlin when Lauren typed Dialogue correctly


Lauren: "What is this arm rest for...?"
Caitlin: "To rest my arm on..."
Lauren: "Oh... that was a stupid question..."

Lauren: "Ugh! I can't type. Do you want to???"
Caitlin: "Nah, I just like watching you struggle."
(As Lauren struggled to type this dialogue :|)


"Ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!!!!!!!!!! ...who would do something like that...?" -- Lauren. In the Wal-Mart parking lot.

Don't know what Rage Comics are? Click me! :D

Oh! And we eat Arby's. By the tree in the restaurant. 

Actual Picture. Legit, bro.


*We don't own any of the brand names, so don't sue us. Thanks. (:*